I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
