I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
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