My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
