She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
