I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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