Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize