My room smells like vodka and shame
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
