Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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