You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
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