its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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