..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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