A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
