hotel room ftw
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
