It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The convent might be a nice break from real life
ok first of all what the fuck
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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