Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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