I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
