Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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