What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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