I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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