well you can't waste a boner
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
