What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
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white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
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Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
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