Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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