my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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