i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
