I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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