...so i touched it.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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