nut hugger
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
