This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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