Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
