why didn't you poke me back
I think my fart just growled at me.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
cat food counts as protein by the way
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Randomize
