I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
