he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
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I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
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They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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