If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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