community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
