They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
