omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
