Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
