I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
