I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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