And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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