my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
