im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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