I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
