I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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