I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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