I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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