I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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