Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
