im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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