i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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