They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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