and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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