I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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