Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
