And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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