Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
