she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i just google imaged poop.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I think i got beer on your cat.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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