Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
