White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
