We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
