he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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