Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
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Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
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Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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