im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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