Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
